I have a post called ‘what to do when a woman plays hard to get‘ on this site, and a lot of men have commented about women they are interested in and the problems they are having with them. One comment is from a guy who says that the woman is not calling him when he expects her to call him and acting in a way that he expects her to act, and this got me thinking – if you want to find love, you can’t expect the story to play out in a certain way.
You can’t expect a woman to kiss you on the first date, call you every chance she gets, ditch her own life to be focused on you, and talk to you in the exact manner and with the exact words that you want to hear.
Love doesn’t unfold that way.
Every relationship has a different journey, and when you put too high of an expectation on how things should be – you will be disappointed every time.
So, removing expectations is one way to find love, but what else can you do?
Have Patience With Love
Do you want things to be perfect RIGHT NOW? Well, sorry, life doesn’t work that way.
A relationship doesn’t always blossom in a week. Sometimes it takes weeks or months for someone to become comfortable with someone else, and if you don’t have patience for that person, then you will never get to a happy and committed relationship.
Finding love is a journey and you should enjoy the process. While focusing on the moment and making it a quality moment is important, letting the relationship unfold as it will is a part of the process.
Don’t Look For A Woman To Make You Happy or Whole
Are you looking for a woman to try to complete yourself? Do you feel that you are missing something from your life or that you are like a half of a person waiting for someone to come and make you feel whole?
If you are, then you have to be enough first. If you meet someone and feel as though you are not enough, then that person will not fill in the space that you want to fill in. In fact, they will exaggerate the fact that you are only one half of a person because your partner will not be able to fulfill that other half of you, no matter how hard they try – and that will be frustrating as you realize your expectations are not being met.
In other words, if you feel like you are:
- Not good enough
- Not lovable
- Not funny enough
- Not wanted by women
- Not interesting enough
Then you are not going to suddenly feel as though you are good enough, or lovable, or funny, or wanted, or interesting simply because you find a woman.
Be Your Authentic Self
If you want someone to love you for who you are, then you have to be who you are in front of them.
If you feel like you have to put on a mask and entertain a woman just to win her over, then you are headed into dangerous territory. If you stay together, your relationship is likely to be an unhealthy one full of lies, hurt, and frustration.
Your authentic self is good enough for someone out there.
And, it should be good enough for you!
Feel Good About Yourself
Feeling good about yourself allows you to attract someone who feels good about you.
If you have a poor self-image, then you will attract someone who reminds you of how you feel. For instance, if you think you are not funny, then you will easily spot out, approach, and attract women who don’t like your sense of humor and think you are not funny.
You probably have a lot of proof of this in your life.
If you think you are worthless, you will attract women who treat you like you are worthless.
If you think you are ugly, you will attract women who treat you like you are ugly.
But, if you think you are great, you will attract women who also think you are great.
The bottom line is that if you want to find love, doing the above things will give you the biggest shot at finding not just love – but really good and happy love. If you want to be in love, you can do that with anyone, but if you want to be happy and in love, you need to ensure that you avoid having too many expectations, have patience, avoid looking for someone to complete you, be real, and feel good about yourself.