Whether you just started dating or you’ve been married over a dozen years, here are some relationship questions to help you communicate with your significant other.
One of the main reasons for break ups and even divorce is that we fail to communicate with each other. Over time our views on certain things change and if we fail to communicate with one another we have no idea how much those views have changed. All of a sudden, we wake up one day thinking how did we end up with this person or who is this person because he/she isn’t the person we married.
When answering these questions in order to communicate and deepen your relationship to make it stronger and better, you must answer these questions honestly with total truth. If you can’t give truthful answers to these questions, there are issues with your personally that you need to work out as well as work on your relationship. After all, if you can’t be honest with yourself, be happy being who you are, how can you be happy with or make anyone else happy?
1. What is the ideal number of calls a couple should exchange in a day?
2. How often should we laugh together?
3. Do you think that physical attributes are more important to maintaining a successful relationship or that friendship maintains a relationship?
4. What role models did you have for loving relationships when you were growing up?
5. What would be a “perfect” day for you?
6. What would you say are the five most important elements of a marriage relationship? If you had to rank these elements, where on the list would you place sex? Can you explain the reasoning behind your ranking?
7. Would you compromise your happiness for the success of the relationship?
8. Do you still like what you loved about me and why?
9. Describe your parents’ marriage. What were the best part and the worst part in your opinion?
10. How was love expressed in your childhood?
11. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
12. What’s your idea of a romantic vacation?
13. Who had control of the money when you were growing up?
14. Do you truly enjoy each my company?
15. How do you want your relationship to mirror that of your parents and how do you want it to differ?
16. What’s the single most important thing for a relationship to be successful?
17. Am I having a positive affect in your life?
18. Describe your philosophy on personal debt.
19. Do I add to your life in a positive way?
20. How do you show your emotions, especially anger?
21. How do you handle change?
22. What would you define as cheating?
23. Can you recall the most romantic moment with me?
24. What brings you happiness and comfort?
25. How should finances be planned between us?
26. Do you trust me?
27. How do you take care of yourself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually?
28. How would you want to spend a special day with each other?
29. How do you feel when others find me attractive?
30. How do you balance needs for “we time” and “me time,” so that you nourish yourself as well as the relationship?
31. Do you feel you have equal power in your relationship?
32. What are the little things that I could do for you to make you smile and feel happy?
33. Have you been aware of shifting “seasons” in our sexual relationship? Is this a source of conflict to our marriage/relationship?
34. Do you feel appreciated?
35. How do you express affection for me outside the bedroom? Are you comfortable and happy with this aspect of our relationship?
36. What is the most special memory of us that you hold?
37. Do you make sacrifices for our relationship?
38. Do you have a strong support system — friends, family members, or mentors to whom you can look for help in a difficult situation? List the names of the people you’d feel most comfortable turning to for assistance in times of trial.
39. Do you want a relationship, or do you need a relationship?
40. What do I do that bothers you the most?
41. Do I share responsibilities with you in a satisfying way?
42. How often would you want to go out on a date with me in a month?
43. Would you ever apologized for what you’ve done wrong to me?
44. Are you happy with the amount of us-time and apart-time we have?
45. What makes you feel connected to me? Why?
46. Are you mostly happy with our current relationship? Is there anything I can do or we can both do to make the relationship better?
47. Am I meeting your needs?
48. If you were convinced that I was making a bad decision, what would you do about it?
49. Are you able to easily forgive my mistakes?
50. What is the single biggest problem you see in the relationship?
51. What does intimacy mean to you?
52. Would you relocate for love?
53. When was the last time we had an in-depth conversation with each other?
54. What did you appreciate about me when you first met me? Do you still appreciate those things?
55. Do you feel I pay enough attention to you?
56. If you’re having a bad day, would you want me to leave you alone or spend time with you and cheer you up?
57. Do you look forward to our future?
58. What do you value most about our relationship?
59. What’s more important, sexual chemistry or spending time together?
60. Have you thought about marrying me? (If you have already married, do you remember why you had that thought of marrying me?)
61. Do you feel I show enough appreciation?
62. When it comes to the future, do you think that we have the same relationship goals?
63. Is your level of self-care high enough for you to overflow and share of yourself? Do you think mine is?
64. When we are together do you experience more moments of joy than sad ones?
65. If you could rewind time and choose a partner, would you still choose me?
66. What destroys trust for you?
67. Describe, in detail, a significant event that changed you as a person. Was this a good or bad change?
68. Are you willing to compromise?
69. In what ways are you most similar to me?
70. What’s our most memorable experience together for you?
71. What outfit or type of clothing do you love seeing me wear?
72. Do you remember what I was wearing on our first date?
73. What’s the most difficult thing we’ve had to face together?
74. What kind of things do you consider romantic?
75. How could I have handled a situation differently?
76. When it comes to being touched sexually and non-sexually where are your favorite places to be touched?
77. How do you want us to be together in public?
78. How are we different?
79. What motivates you the most in life?
80. Are you willing to see another possibility?
81. What kind of memories do you think that we want to create together?
82. What is the strongest part of our relationship?
83. What traits make us a compatible couple?
84. What characteristics make a strong marriage?
85. What do you think will be the early warning signs that our relationship is in trouble?
86. Am I being a good spouse to you?
87. Do you think we play well together?
88. Do you think I am controlling, demanding to know where you were and who you were with, or that I isolate you from friends and family?
89. If you were describing me to someone else, what would you say?
90. What activities and common interests can we develop that will bring us closer together?
91. Do you think I have been cheating on you if I talk or dance with someone else?
92. What are three things that I do that you couldn’t live without?
93. Are you able to agreeably disagree with me?
94. What are you willing to do with or for me that you haven’t been willing to do with any previous relationship?
95. Do I still turn you on?
96. Are you happy about my accomplishments and ambitions?
97. How do you describe me to other people?
98. Do I support you enough in your endeavors?
99. What are the 3 parts of your body that you most like massaged?
100. How “touchy” do you like to be with me?
101. Do you think our relationship roll with the punches?
102. Do you break or throw things when you are angry?
103. How did you learn what it meant to be a man/woman?
104. Do I ask for and respect your opinions?
105. Do you believe in God?
106. Do I really listen to you?
107. Are your expectations realistic?
108. Who is the person you admire most and why?
109. Can you talk about your feelings?
110. Do you think you and I both invested in the relationship?
111. How do you feel about PDAs (public displays of affection)?
112. If you were really in trouble, who would you go to for advice?
113. Do you have a good relationship with your family?
114. What could I do that will cause you to pull away from me?
115. How “touchy” do you want me to be with you?
116. Can you tell me what makes up your belief systems?
117. Do you take responsibility for your actions and not blame others for those actions?
118. Do I dismiss your opinion, or do I make you feel your opinion is valuable?
119. Name three things you and I appear to have in common.
120. How can I better support you in your life?
121. Do you find yourself ever afraid of me? When and why?
122. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
123. How close and warm is your family?
124. What should I never say to you, even in anger or frustration?
125. Is there anything I have done in the past week that may have unknowingly hurt you?
126. Do you think I make fun of you or put you down?
127. When it comes to sharing the load of household chores and responsibilities, do you think I do my share, too much, or not enough?
128. How much time and space do we need apart from each other?
129. When you come home from work, what can I do or say that will make you feel the most loved?
130. Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
131. What habits do I have that are upsetting to you?
132. What can we do to avoid fighting or arguing entirely?
133. Are you glad that I have other friends?
134. What are the main stressors currently in your life, and is there any way I can alleviate that stress for you, if only a small amount?
135. What, if anything, is too serious to you to be joked about?
136. What will I have to say to get your attention when I’ve not been able to?
137. When do you find speaking difficult and how can I best support you through those moments?
138. What is your favorite memory about your childhood (including teenage years)?
139. How can I better meet your emotional needs and desires?
140. What was your favorite place to go as a child and why did you love it there?
141. What are your deepest wounds and how can I support you there?
142. What are the five things that you are most thankful for right now?
143. Where are you unwilling to compromise?
144. What was the first thing you thought about me when you saw me?
145. What challenges will we face if I consider myself spiritual, and you don’t?
146. What do you expect from me that you should really be expecting of yourself?
147. What is one of the most adventurous things you have ever done?
148. Has there been something from the past that you’ve never told me because you think it is too embarrassing?
149. What are your most passionate interests as an individual? What do you enjoy doing most?
150. Using the answers to the two previous questions, explain how can you use this knowledge to plan more meaningful times together?
151. What are your deepest dreams and desires for yourself and for us?
152. If you could have been an eyewitness to any event in history, which one would you choose?
153. Am I fun to be with?
154. Do I dominate our conversations?
155. Over the last five years, how do you think you have changed?
156. How often do I communicate love in the way you receive it?
157. What are your top 3 romantic getaways?
158. Do you feel “safe enough” so that you can share anything with me, and I won’t judge you or look down on you?
159. How long has it been since you and I were on a date?
160. Would you say you feel valued and understood when we’re having a disagreement?
161. Do you think we communicate regularly?
162. Which do you think should have the final say in decisions – logic or emotions, and why?
163. Do you prefer receiving expensive, practical or meaningful gifts?
164. Do you think it’s important for me to like your friends?
165. What did your parents teach you that you appreciate now?
166. What is your most terrible memory?
167. What are the things that stand between you and complete happiness?
168. If you could choose just one thing to change about the world, what would it be?
169. What makes you be in the mood for sex?
170. What will people say about you at your funeral?
171. If you could ask a single person one question, and they had to answer truthfully, who and what would you ask?
172. Does nature shape our personalities more than nurture?
173. Are you content at present?
174. If you could start over, what would you do differently?
175. What is the highest amount either of us should spend on an item without first discussing it with each other?
176. Are you holding onto something physical, mental, or emotionally that you need to let go of? Why can’t you let it go?
177. Do you make your own decisions, or let others make them for you?
You may also be interested in our article: Birthday Ideas For Husband.
178. How can I add to your happiness?
179. When was the last time you tried something new?
180. What is the difference between living and being alive?
181. How can I demonstrate my love for you in different ways? This could include doing chores without having to be asked.
182. If you had to teach someone one thing, what would you teach?
183. How much control do you have over your life?
184. How can I help you be a better partner? This is not meant to be a criticism but meant to move us to be even better than we already are.
185. What makes you smile?
186. How can I better meet your physical needs and desires?
187. What gets you excited and driven to achieve?
188. Is there a supreme power?
189. What do you want most out of life? If you say everything then list items in order of importance such as family work etc.
190. If you had to define “marriage,” what words would you use?
191. Is there anything in your heart that you need to forgive me for?
192. What have you done today to make someone’s life better?
193. What one thing can you commit yourself to do this week in an effort to free up more time to spend with me?
194. How would you handle me becoming suddenly disabled, would you stick with me?
195. How would you describe your “long view” of our relationship?
196. What are you most thankful for?
197. When you hit an obstacles or conflicts in our relationship, how do you usually handle it? Do you get angry, go home to your mother, blame me or do you look for ways to solve the problem in order to move forward?
198. How have you changed since we got married?
199. Has there been a time you did not speak up, when you know you really should have? Why didn’t you speak up?
200. Do you welcome conflict or view it as a threat?
201. How often do we sit down as a couple simply to talk to one another? Do you think we should have a set time specifically for this purpose?
202. What do you like about our marriage/relationship?
203. Who is someone that inspires you?
204. What have you given up on? Why?
205. What would you like to change about our marriage/relationship and why?
206. What are some of your greatest hopes?
207. What do you think we can do to keep our date nights from becoming “routine” and “boring”?
208. Whose life have you had the greatest impact on?
209. What do you do to fan the flames of romance and keep them burning?
210. How did your parents approach the question of male and female roles in marriage?
211. Do you think you have a good understanding of my strengths, weaknesses, desires, and dreams?
212. What would you like to change about our marriage/relationship?
213. Where do you think you would be right now if we were not together? Why?
Check out our other article: Good Night Text Messages For Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend.
When it comes to your relationship, you both must commit to work on it consistently and daily. You also need to remember just as we change as we age so does our relationship. If you ever feel you are falling out of love with your partner but still love them, it is time to work on romance in the relationship. Make a special dinner, light some candles, put on some soft music and see where the romance takes you for the night. Surprises of romance will keep the passion alive and helps you strengthen your relationship.
Now when it comes to disagreements, our advice is NEVER go to bed angry. That does not mean you have to yell and fight or hash out a problem all night, simple agree that it is time to take a break from the issue, tell each other why you love the other one and what they mean to you in your life, then go to bed on good feelings.
Some of the questions above you may have noticed were dark, anger problems or control issues, etc. If you answered yes to one or more of them, you need to step back and seriously consider your relationship and whether or not you should maintain that relationship as those questions are warning signs to physical, emotional, mental, and psychological abuse.