Women like guys who are charming and interesting. Why wouldn’t they? Those are some redeeming qualities about any human being.
Some guys naturally have a lot of charm and draw the interest of women easily. But other guys have a harder time painting an attractive light around themselves.
Luckily, for all guys, conversation is a great time to show a woman how awesome you are. And, telling stories about your experiences in life will help a woman see who you are, what you stand for, and that you have a lot to offer her.
Through stories you can let a woman know that you have a sense of humor, dedication, confidence, adventure, passion, and so much more.
Since stories help you paint a positive picture without bragging about your awesomeness (being egotistic), it becomes important to know how to tell good stories.
And in order to know how to tell good stories about yourself, you have to know what not to do when telling your stories.
So, how do you tell great stories about yourself? DON’T do the following things.
1. Don’t Be Random
The trick is to incorporate stories that relate to the conversation. For instance, if she is talking about an awesome vacation experience she had, then a story about a vacation where you also had an awesome experience would fit in nicely. But, if you start talking about your experience at the casino last night, it forces her to move totally off topic and that can be slightly irritating.
You have a lot of stories! Even if there are specific stories that you want to tell, there is a time and a place to tell them. When you are trying to impress and attract a woman, stick to the stories that seem to fit into the mood and conversation.
2. Don’t Try Too Hard To Impress Her
You want your stories to be true. If she doesn’t like you for your experiences (which make up who you are), then she’s not worth it anyway. So don’t try to bulk up your stories to reflect something you think she wants to hear.
Trying to make yourself look amazing will end up in you embellishing your stories – a lot. For instance, if you want to make yourself look like you have an amazing job, you could easily add a few details (like how much you get paid, how well you are liked, or how much praise you get from your boss) that aren’t necessarily true.
Here’s the thing: Women have a built-in bullshit radar, and when you embellish a story, they will sense it. Then they will give you ‘the look’ that says they call bullshit, or they will outright call it, and you will find yourself embellishing your story even more to convince them otherwise.
That is when foot in mouth syndrome starts to set in, and you can easily have the opposite effect on a woman than you planned.
When the pressure is on to fix your story, stupid things will be said…it’s just the way it goes.
3. Don’t Try To Be Perfect In Your Stories
Charming and interesting people sometimes show off a little vulnerability. We are all drawn to people who have imperfections and are willing to admit it. They are more relatable, because nobody is perfect!
Showing vulnerability has nothing to do with lack of confidence. In fact, confident people are usually the only people who are willing to show their vulnerability.
They know that their faults are what make them who they are, and they like themselves enough to know that who they are is good enough – even to that woman that they want so badly.
Just don’t get into victim territory. If the fact that you were passed over for a promotion ends up in a story, fine. But don’t complain and whine about it, or blame everyone else for your unhappiness. The passing up of a promotion should be a part of the story that leads to something better, not a focal point of misery that makes you look like someone who got passed up because you are miserable.
4. Don’t Tell Every Single Detail
Interesting people don’t need to rehash every step of the story they are telling. Certain details are just boring to someone listening to you – and they honestly don’t need to know them.
In addition, little details can end up doing more harm than good for the picture you are trying to paint around yourself.
For instance, telling a woman about a trip you went on is fine if you want to let her know that you are well-rounded and full of adventure. But unless it helps add to the point you are making, you don’t need to tell about why you booked the trip, which agency you booked through, how uncomfortable the plane ride was, how long the layover was, what the clouds looked like on the plan, etc.
Pick the parts of the story that help you get your point across and get on with it!
Getting to the point will also help you talk less, which will balance out the conversation more.
Dr. Lynn Koegel, who is clinical director of Koegel Autism Center at the University of California, Santa Barbara, says that an optimal conversation flow has each person talking about 50% of the time. – Source
5. Don’t Be Negative
Lastly, make sure you tell positive, uplifting, insightful, funny, or meaningful stories about yourself. Don’t tell stories that are gory or upsetting, and don’t share stories that make you look like a heartless jerk. Just stick to stories that make her want to be closer to you and get to know you.
Don’t worry, once you win her over you will have plenty of time to tell her all of the stories that you want to tell her. Until then, you are trying to show off your best qualities, not your worst.
What kind of qualities do you want to show off in your stories? Read this article: The 100 Qualities That Make a Man Attractive