The first kiss isn’t always the best kiss like they show in the movies, but it is a start to becoming closer to a woman that you really like. It is also a time when you discover whether or not there is a physical attraction between the two of you. (Sometimes there isn’t!) The first kiss is important for a number of different reasons, and timing it perfectly could make the difference between landing a relationship with a woman or not.
The Timing Of The First Kiss Matters! How Long Should You Wait To Kiss?
If you think that the timing doesn’t matter, think again.
If You Go In For The Kiss Too Soon
If you try and kiss a woman before she is ready (say during the first date), then you may piss her off. Literally. She may feel invaded, and if the kiss didn’t go well, she may even be a little turned off towards you.
If You Go In For The Kiss Too Late
If you wait too long, she may give up on the kiss and you may end up in the friend zone.
In the beginning, on the first or second date, she will be thinking about the kiss.
By the third date, she may be ready for it and really waiting for you to make a move.
By the fourth or fifth date, she may start to wonder if you are really that into her.
After that she may put up her defenses so she doesn’t get hurt and put you in the friend zone. She may give up on you.
When Is The Right Time To Kiss A Woman?
When you both feel the connection. You will know when the right time is if you listen to your gut. It is a natural instinct that we are all born with, and by paying attention to the energy happening between the two of you, the perfect first kiss can be easy to nail.
There is no perfect time. It may be before the first date or it may not be until you have known each other for a few weeks. Moreover, even if the connection is there, she has to be willing to kiss you. You have to wait for everything – the attraction and the willingness – to line up perfectly.
Fortunately, a woman will give you signs when she is interested in you physically and ready for the first kiss, and you can use these signs to time the first kiss at an appropriate time.
She will do things like:
Lick her lips: This is a sign that she is focused on her lips – and she doesn’t focus on her lips unless she is focused on using her lips for something, like a kiss. Plus most people lick their lips when they are getting ready for a first kiss. They want to make sure their lips are ‘kiss-worthy’. So this is a pretty good sign that she is expecting something to happen soon.
She gets really close: There is a certain distance that women will keep when they are not ready to kiss you, but when they are ready, they will start to move closer to you – particularly in the upper region. So, if she leans in more than usual, or stands closer to you, or somehow makes sure her face is ridiculously close to yours, then go in for the kiss.
She hangs around you when you are saying goodbye: This is the classic “I’m ready for the first kiss!” move, so take advantage of it! For instance, if she gives you some extra time when you are saying goodbye, it is because she does not want you to leave yet. And if she is acting awkward and quiet (looking at the ground, playing with her hair, or anything else out of character), then she is likely waiting to see if you are going to give her a kiss. Don’t wait and make the moment more awkward than it has to be or else you will disappoint her and yourself.
My first kiss with my husband was difficult – for both of us. For some reason, I was scared to kiss him, even though I wanted to. I never gave him an opportunity to go in for the kiss because I was too scared. After a few weeks of sending out ‘don’t kiss me’ signals, I finally stood by the door of my apartment as he was leaving and gave him his first real shot to kiss me. I was leaning against the wall and looking at the ground, and he bent down and took advantage of it with a small, gentle kiss. I’m grateful he took the initiative, and I loved our first kiss! Everything after that was easy!
The Face-To-Face Test
Want an easy way to tell if she is ready for the kiss. Try this: Lean in slightly towards a woman. Depending on what she does, back off from the kiss or go in for the kiss.
- If she pulls back, she is not ready for a kiss. No harm done. You didn’t go in for the kiss, you were simply testing the waters.
- If she tilts her head to the side in a playful and shy way, then she wants to kiss you but she is scared (in other words, go in for the first kiss).
- If she leans in towards you, don’t hesitate for too long. Go in for the kiss because she has pretty much given you the white flag.
Kissing Passionately On The First Date? Yes Or No?
Lastly, the question about kissing passionately on the first date has come up. All movie kisses are passionate, but to kiss passionately when it is your first kiss in real life may be too much.
As a woman, I would appreciate a nice, soft kiss that lasts anywhere between 3-5 seconds. Too much shorter and it will feel like a peck from a friend or family member, and too much longer and it can get uncomfortable. It should be that passionate kiss where you feel your first physical connection and suddenly know that there is much more to come – not because you made it look sexy and used some tongue.
If Only the First Kiss Was A ‘Must Do It Now’ – Like This!
In the following video, the first kiss is captured between strangers. Of course, this is for a film about kissing for the first time and what it looks like, so it may not be like this your first time…but maybe it will be. I recognized the feelings they were having before they went for it!