The first kiss isn’t always the best kiss like they show in the movies, but it is a start to becoming closer to a woman that you really like. It is also a time when you discover whether or not there is a physical attraction between the two of you. (Sometimes there isn’t!) The first kiss is important for a number of different reasons, and timing it perfectly could make the difference between landing a relationship with a woman or not.
The Timing Of The First Kiss Matters! How Long Should You Wait To Kiss?
If you think that the timing doesn’t matter, think again.
If You Go In For The Kiss Too Soon
If you try and kiss a woman before she is ready (say during the first date), then you may piss her off. Literally. She may feel invaded, and if the kiss didn’t go well, she may even be a little turned off towards you.
If You Go In For The Kiss Too Late
If you wait too long, she may give up on the kiss and you may end up in the friend zone.
In the beginning, on the first or second date, she will be thinking about the kiss.
By the third date, she may be ready for it and really waiting for you to make a move.
By the fourth or fifth date, she may start to wonder if you are really that into her.
After that she may put up her defenses so she doesn’t get hurt and put you in the friend zone. She may give up on you.
When Is The Right Time To Kiss A Woman?
When you both feel the connection. You will know when the right time is if you listen to your gut. It is a natural instinct that we are all born with, and by paying attention to the energy happening between the two of you, the perfect first kiss can be easy to nail.
There is no perfect time. It may be before the first date or it may not be until you have known each other for a few weeks. Moreover, even if the connection is there, she has to be willing to kiss you. You have to wait for everything – the attraction and the willingness – to line up perfectly.
Fortunately, a woman will give you signs when she is interested in you physically and ready for the first kiss, and you can use these signs to time the first kiss at an appropriate time.
She will do things like:
Lick her lips: This is a sign that she is focused on her lips – and she doesn’t focus on her lips unless she is focused on using her lips for something, like a kiss. Plus most people lick their lips when they are getting ready for a first kiss. They want to make sure their lips are ‘kiss-worthy’. So this is a pretty good sign that she is expecting something to happen soon.
She gets really close: There is a certain distance that women will keep when they are not ready to kiss you, but when they are ready, they will start to move closer to you – particularly in the upper region. So, if she leans in more than usual, or stands closer to you, or somehow makes sure her face is ridiculously close to yours, then go in for the kiss.
She hangs around you when you are saying goodbye: This is the classic “I’m ready for the first kiss!” move, so take advantage of it! For instance, if she gives you some extra time when you are saying goodbye, it is because she does not want you to leave yet. And if she is acting awkward and quiet (looking at the ground, playing with her hair, or anything else out of character), then she is likely waiting to see if you are going to give her a kiss. Don’t wait and make the moment more awkward than it has to be or else you will disappoint her and yourself.
My first kiss with my husband was difficult – for both of us. For some reason, I was scared to kiss him, even though I wanted to. I never gave him an opportunity to go in for the kiss because I was too scared. After a few weeks of sending out ‘don’t kiss me’ signals, I finally stood by the door of my apartment as he was leaving and gave him his first real shot to kiss me. I was leaning against the wall and looking at the ground, and he bent down and took advantage of it with a small, gentle kiss. I’m grateful he took the initiative, and I loved our first kiss! Everything after that was easy!
The Face-To-Face Test
Want an easy way to tell if she is ready for the kiss. Try this: Lean in slightly towards a woman. Depending on what she does, back off from the kiss or go in for the kiss.
- If she pulls back, she is not ready for a kiss. No harm done. You didn’t go in for the kiss, you were simply testing the waters.
- If she tilts her head to the side in a playful and shy way, then she wants to kiss you but she is scared (in other words, go in for the first kiss).
- If she leans in towards you, don’t hesitate for too long. Go in for the kiss because she has pretty much given you the white flag.
Kissing Passionately On The First Date? Yes Or No?
Lastly, the question about kissing passionately on the first date has come up. All movie kisses are passionate, but to kiss passionately when it is your first kiss in real life may be too much.
As a woman, I would appreciate a nice, soft kiss that lasts anywhere between 3-5 seconds. Too much shorter and it will feel like a peck from a friend or family member, and too much longer and it can get uncomfortable. It should be that passionate kiss where you feel your first physical connection and suddenly know that there is much more to come – not because you made it look sexy and used some tongue.
If Only the First Kiss Was A ‘Must Do It Now’ – Like This!
In the following video, the first kiss is captured between strangers. Of course, this is for a film about kissing for the first time and what it looks like, so it may not be like this your first time…but maybe it will be. I recognized the feelings they were having before they went for it!
Zach L. says
Interesting that after the kiss the comfort level goes way up. To hugging and holding. An intimate connection develops.
Raiden says
Very interesting indeed.
zain ali says
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I promise you everyone balieve me i know between secrite actuaily first time is problems when met her then i know every thing very easy butt i dont know who first time pick me next beweet to very easy
I essure you you can believe me im respectfull all of you
Thank
Your friend
beyonce says
heya hun,
could you please speak english and stop with all this gibberish blab because i dont understand
thanks b x
Jones says
Hi im 22 years old, i had my first time kiss with a girl i met on the same day.It was pretty much of a long kiss and we kissed for a couple of minutes and we did not even have sex after wards it kinda felt weird ,from my side because it felt as if i did not do the right thing (by that i mean turn her on).so my qurstion is what should i do the second time we meet up?
Kate says
The second time you meet up, you can kiss her again, however, don’t try to get her in bed after the second kiss.
Blitz says
If you kiss her neck she’ll get turned on but don’t ask her for sex afterward. The more you kiss her the more she’ll want you. This is bcuz ull stand out from all the other guys that just want sex. She’ll respond sexually to you when she sees that you want to connect emotionally with her. When you talk to her keep eye contact. U could even challenge her to a staring contest. You want to keep the emotional intimacy up until she can’t stand it any longer and begs u for sex.
Babs says
So I just confessed to my girlfriend .
Should I do it tomorrow
Robert says
Hi I just had a small date with a woman and I went in to early for the kiss.
What should I do now?
Kate says
If she wasn’t ready to kiss you yet, then give her time, don’t rush it.
Tyler Hawthorne says
Hi, I’ve had a girlfriend for about a month now, and we haven’t kissed yet, but I feel ready and I think she does too, should I go for it? PS, homecoming is this weekend, (perfect time)
Kate says
Hi, if you think she’s ready, then go for it.
Red King says
Im dating someone and I feel like kissing her all the time but in not shure if she is ready is there any more tips that you can give me to tell whether she’s ready or not I’m still in high school and get to see her every day so ant tips for teens?
jerry says
hey i got a girlfriend and i asked if we could kiss she said yes but then she didn’t want to what do i do
Becca says
Hey it’s all right I am in high school too if you think you can do it then do it becuase I just started dating this boy and we have a weird connection and if you find or get any tips please let me know too.
Okay
Bye
Diggy says
Hi! Just want to know if a woman/ a lady can go on and kiss a man first.
Kate says
Yes, a woman can initiate the first kiss. However, most women don’t want to kiss the man first because society makes them fearful of doing this. They are afraid of being labeled negatively.
Ruby T. says
Hi! We just had our first kiss- it was the fourth date. As a girl, did I do it too soon? He’s a highly religious person but we’ve known each other for about 2 months and it’s pretty clear that we’re into each other (we’ve met the other’s family members and he’s met my friends so….)
We also don’t see each other a lot, since we go to different schools and I work, so will that have any effect?
Kate says
Did you initiate the kiss? If he doesn’t act differently after the kiss then I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I mean, he kissed you too, even though he is highly religious.
Cormac says
So both me and my partner know we want to kiss but we’re both too awkward for either of us to take the initiative. Is there a way too handle this? Should I just talk the initiative?
Kate says
If you are both ready then just go for it.
Lilli says
I really want to kiss my girlfriend, i feel like she’s ready and im ready, i’m just scared if i am misreading her signals. Her and i go to different schools and only see eachother tuesday saturday and sunday. The problem is both of us are girls and we dont want people to start rumors as our relationship is secret. Where would I kiss her, do i like drag her off to the side somewhere where no one can see us and try to kiss her? Or would i just ask her if her and i should kiss? We’ve been dating for about 1 month now and been on 2 dates. I’ve known her since i was like 6 too so i am pretty sure there is a decent connection as we are both in highschool now.
Aditya says
Never asks…asking works in rare of the rare situations(teenagers for the first time)…Just wait for the right moment…things like this should be unplanned, then it becomes thrilling… Girls like when things are unpredictable(but not too much)…!
Grigoris says
Really interesting article. However,I wasn’ t that lucky in my personal life,at all. And,it wasn ‘t always MY fault. I ‘m a human being,I made mistakes throughout my life,from the day I defined myself in this world,up to this one,but I don believe it depends only on me. I met women who were still thinking of their ex,or another man,generally,I met women who wanted me just for fun,considering me as an expendable,lifeless object,and I even met a woman who was bi. All these are elements that I CANNOT be aware of,in the first place. So,I ‘m convinced,now,in the age of forty-four,the “first kiss trophy” does not depend exclusively on me. Especially these recent years,in greece,the land of austerity measures,poverty and reducing of life quality. Greek women check out whether I ‘m able to buy them a drink or two or three,a necklace or two or three,whether I ‘m a car owner,and whether I have a job,in order to afford ALL of these lovely,romantic things. And,IF I got them,maybe one of them will kiss me,or maybe she ‘ll think about it,or maybe she ‘ll think of giving it a second thought,or maybe whatsoever. Anyway,my priorities all totally different from the era of my youth,sadly due to my six-year-old unemployment. You see,my parents won ‘t be here to feed me for ever,so I have to find a job,so I can pay my place ‘s bills and store some food in the fridge,without the need of my father ‘s pension. After that,if and only if I can achieve my surviving,then I may have the (financial) ability to consider seriously of finding a woman,and corresponding to her (obvious) needs. I also have a few health “issues” I should take care of. And don ‘t think I ‘m willing to move abroad,in order to meet other women who PROBABLY don ‘t have the “greek” way of thinking. As a remarkable poet says….”don ‘t live for pleasure……………make life your treasure”. That ‘s exactly what I ‘m planning to do for the remaining life of mine,and not wondering if she would somehow be interested in kissing me. If love was a movie,it could be “The Matrix”. We simply take the blue pill,and live our own illusion,willingly. 😉
Alexa says
I’m 12 and I have a boyfriend and we have been together for about 3 months. We hold hands and hug. Am I ready for my first kiss yet? I really like him and he is sweet and cute.
jackson says
hi, im 13 and i have a girlfriend. i was wondering if i should kiss her before we go on summer brake. should i?
jackson says
i have the same problem with my gf. her name is alexis.
lenae dutton says
I am 16 and i have a boyfriend how do i know if he is ready to be kissed? And how do i know if im ready? when is the good time to kiss him?
Jamie says
To all the people who have been asking whether/when they should kiss the person they like, JUST GO FOR IT IF these three things have been happening during your dates (or whenever you hang out):
1) the two of you smile and laugh with each other often
2) really enjoy each other’s company and that person wants to (and continues to) see you again
3) the other person leans in close when you talk or lets you hold their hand or touch their arm/back when you’re talking or guiding them through a crowd
If you pay attention to their body language and facial expressions, I don’t think you can go wrong!
Michael says
I am 14 and my girlfriend and I have just started dating. We have been super close friends forever and I am just wondering, how long should I wait until the first kiss? Or should I go for it if we are both ready?
I would like to Thank You in advanc!