Being single for too long can mess with your mind. If you’re starting to become anxious or depressed about being single, then following are some things to remember.
1. Not Everyone Is Like Your Ex-Girlfriend
Just because you had a bad relationship with your ex, doesn’t mean all women are like your ex. It may be true that you are only seeing women that are like your ex, though! Why? Because what we focus on is what we see.
When you think about a certain type of woman (like your ex), then you are going to see her everywhere. It’s just like if you think about a certain type of car. You are going to see that car everywhere!
It’s time to stop thinking about what your ex was like and think about what you want. The more you put your focus on what you want, the more likely you will be able to see it and find it.
2. No, You Probably Shouldn’t Go Back To Your Ex-Girlfriend
everyone i know is always hooked on their ex, to find someone cute with no prior relationship is like finding a unicorn.
— SUPMIKECHECK (@SupMikecheck) May 4, 2016
So many people (both men and women) are so hooked on their ex that they are blind to the possibilities that are in front of them. I get it. When you are single for too long, your ex starts to look really good. You know them. You know how to interact with them. You don’t have to wine and dine them too much first because you’ve been there and done that. But, it’s a bad idea.
Most relationships don’t work the second time around either. There are reasons you broke up, and if those reasons are still there, then you will end up exactly where you were before. The relationship might be fun in the beginning, but do you really want to go through another breakup with your ex? Why put yourself through that again? Look for a woman who has more of what you want.
3. Dating Takes Time (If You Want To Find Someone Special)
If you are starting to feel desperate, that’s a sign that you could start to rush into things. If you rush into things, you are going to miss all those red flags that tell you that new woman is not your type, not worth your time, or is going to cause you a lot of heartaches!
Keep in mind that even though you’ve been single for a while, you still have to take some time to find the right woman. You have to date her, get to know her, and THEN decide if she is the right one. If you don’t, you could be in for an unhappy relationship that results in you being single again – soon.
4. Relationships Can Be Stressful Too
Being in a committed relationship can help relieve stress.
— What The F*** Facts (@WhatTheFFacts) April 3, 2016
Yes, being single for a long time is stressful, and you hear a lot about how committed relationships are much less stressful – like in the above tweet. But being in a really bad relationship for a long time is ultra-stressful.
The point is that the grass always seems greener on the other side, but many people in relationships are not happy either. They are fighting, stuck, and wanting out. Don’t pretend that all relationships are better than being single, because they are not.
Note: That’s why it’s so important to date and take your time to find a woman that meets your needs, wants, and desires. If you rush into a shitty relationship, then you are moving from one stressful state to another.
5. You Don’t Have To Love Single Life, But You Have To Accept It
Nobody says that you must love being single. You don’t have to love it. You don’t have to think it’s better than being in a relationship. But you do have to accept that you are single. If you can’t accept that you are living a single life, right now, then you are going to drive yourself insane. You are going to become desperate, or you are going to become bitter – either way, things are going to end badly.
6. Some People Are Jealous Of YOU
You may feel jealous of your friends who are in a relationship or that couple who constantly holds hands, but a lot of people are jealous of you. They are jealous of your ability to do what you want when you want to do it. They are jealous of you not having to fight, compromise, or share. They are jealous that you get to make decisions based on what you want, not on what you and your partner wants. They may not tell you that they are jealous, but believe me, some people are.
7. You Have To Try To Find Someone
Don’t give up on Love, give in to Love. #DailyLove
— Mastin Kipp (@TheDailyLove) May 30, 2015
This is one of the important things to remember after being single for too long. You may get into a routine where you don’t like going out anymore. You may think that it’s not worth your time to try to find someone anymore, and say things like “I will never find someone anyway!” But, if you don’t try, you don’t know.
You have to put yourself out there. You have to go out and mingle. You have to ask women out. You have to get on dating sites and search for women you like. You have to put in the effort to get the results. That’s how finding love works. If you don’t, you will be single for a lot longer because the chances of a woman falling in your lap are very slim!
8. You Must Be Willing To Adapt If You Want A Relationship
After being single for too long, you can get used to your way of life. You don’t want to compromise. You don’t want to have to change yourself or your life in any way. But relationships are about compromise.
A relationship consists of two people working together in life. Those two people are not going to be totally alike, but if they can’t compromise on the big and small decisions, then they are not going to work out. Don’t even get stuck in one way of doing things. When you get stuck, you won’t be able to compromise the way you need to, and that’s going to keep you from doing the things that help you get into a healthy and happy relationship.
9. You Are Not Alone – Even If You Feel Lonely
This is definitely one of the important things to remember after being single for too long. When you focus on how lonely you are, you can start to feel alone. But there are billions of people around you. At last count, there are 7.123 billion people on the planet.
In other words, there are tons of people around you. If you are not interacting with them, then that’s on you. Maybe you are not willing to make friends or are too critical of other people or don’t want other people around you…but, there is a reason you are alone. There is no excuse to be alone in this life.
10. Bitter And Single Looks Ugly On You
Being single for a long time can turn you bitter. You can become mean towards women and have a very ugly opinion of them. Do you think that’s going to help you attract women into your life? Hell no! Women can sense your bitterness from a mile away.
Being bitter makes you unattractive to everyone. Nobody wants to surround themselves with a bitter person.
Moreover, being bitter affects your perception of women. Remember, when you focus on what you don’t want, you see it everywhere! How can you find the right woman you are focused on your bitterness towards them?
11. Happiness Comes From Within
I know, you’ve probably heard this before, but that’s because it’s true! After being single and unhappy for too long, you may think that the only way you can be happy is with a woman. But, happiness comes from within. If you are not happy right now, then no woman is going to change that. Happiness stems from your beliefs, perceptions, and actions in life, not from having a woman by your side.
12. You ARE Good Enough
One of the things to remember is that you are good enough, even if you haven’t been able to find a woman for a long time. Being single doesn’t make you worthless. It just makes you single!
Don’t place your value on your ability to find the right woman. Place it on what you do each day, how you treat people, what you think, and what you contribute. That’s where the real value in you lives.
13. Your Beliefs Matter!
Sometimes we start to think are beliefs are solid and real. But they are just beliefs. They can be changed to fit our current life, and sometimes, they SHOULD be changed!
- If you believe you suck, then you will do sucky things.
- If you believe women are all jerks, then you will find jerky women.
- If you believe that you are not meant to be in a relationship, then you will do things to keep yourself out of a relationship!
Your beliefs dictate your perception and your actions in life. Make sure your beliefs are helping you, not hurting you.
14. There’s No Such Thing As Being Single For Too Long
There’s no right time to be in a relationship. There’s no right time to be married. There’s no length of time that is too long to be single. It’s all about you – how you feel, what you are doing, and what’s happening in your life. You are not Bob or John; you are you. And, you are going to be single for as long as it takes to find a woman who makes you happy. Happy relationships start from all periods of life.
15. Your Next Relationship Is Going To Be Amazing
After being single for too long, you can lose hope on ever having a happy relationship. Don’t let yourself do that. Always have an expectation that your next relationship is going to be fun, full of love, and full of happiness. I have seen it over and over again in life – you attract what you focus on the most. If you are focused on a strong and loving relationship, then there is a good chance that you will attract that into your life.
Martin York says
All sounds good but the reality is if you are a 54 year bachelor society treats you like something is wrong with you.
That’s just life it’s nobody’s fault that’s just how it is wrong or right.
I don’t look for love the chances are higher than winning the lottery.
I think it’s just an age thing if it hasn’t happened by age 54,realistically it ain’t gonna happen.
It’s just luck some are lucky some like me aren’t lucky in love but at least I have my own home to sit in and watch tv.
Regards Marty
Kimberlee says
I know so well. I was busy early in life with things that I see today had no real merit. But my friends and others my age married and suddenly (it seemed) I found myself in a very small dating pool. And since I live in a small town that dating pool was very small. I dated who there was available and didn’t find anyone for me. So now in my late 50s I’m alone. Was it my fault? Yes, for the most part and a lot of it was luck or lack of it. The dating website seem more like sex sites and there’s 2 local men (I’m not kidding only 2)! So I’m trying to reconcile myself to a life alone. Yes, it’s true that women see a man single his whole life and they wonder why. But I wonder if men think the same about me.
John says
Women know they can get anyone they want with no effort. Men are stupid by paying attention to them ostracize . I’ve been told I’m attractive and if it does happen I will gladly reject them.
John says
Women never get lonely they don’t care dince their heart is black. They don’t care about our needs since they refer to us ad jagoffs. I wish the table would turn. If one approaches me I avoid them and say “why are we talking?”
Paul says
It is just too bad that God didn’t make women like they use to be in the old days when most of them at the time were real ladies. Today most of the women are very dysfunctional which makes it much more difficult for many of us good men trying to meet a good normal one.
Disappointed says
“God” doesn’t “make” men like “he” used to either. Guess what? All humans are dysfunctional. Women are dysfunctional due to men, and men are dysfunctional due to women. It has been and will always be this way, there is no “back in the day” – every era is dysfunctional because material life is a clusterfuck. Nostalgia has no foundation.
Feminism Is To Blame says
Well it is the women of today for your information that have changed for the worst of all since these feminists are just real men haters to begin with. So many very troubled women everywhere nowadays that need to get a life since all they do his blame many of us men for everything. What a bunch of real total losers altogether which is the real excellent reason why so many of us men are still single.
John says
Listen to Billy Joel, She’s Only A Woman To Me. I haven’t been the same since and it’s true
T Benton says
Billy Joel’s Song Is Called ALWAYS a Eoman To Me.
Marko says
Most women today are very horrible altogether, especially the ones that have no manners with a rotten personality to go along with it. And God forbid for many of us good single men today trying to start a normal conversation with a woman that we would really like to meet since it has become very extremely dangerous now for us, and most of the time these very pathetic loser women will even Curse at us for no reason at all as well. By just saying good morning or hello to a woman which i really would have never though that it was going to be that much trouble today since there are really a lot of us men looking for a very serious relationship now, and to have many of these women being so damn nasty to us just makes it much more complicated for many of us men now as well. Yes i did mentioned the fact that women do Curse at us which i had this happened to me already, and a few other friends that i know as well. A lot of very severely mentally disturbed women nowadays everywhere us men go trying to find love today when it should have never been this difficult to begin with. It is very sad that many of these type of women are like this today since many of us men just keep meeting the Wrong Women all the time instead of a real good Normal One. Even God unfortunately really has no control at all over these type of women since he gave them the free will to do whatever they want which makes it a real shame altogether. Very obvious why so many of us men just can’t find love at all no matter how hard we try, and this is a very excellent reason why so many of us men are still single today since we really have no reason at all to blame ourselves either. And if this had been the good old days when most women were Real Ladies which many of us men would have been all settled down back then with no trouble at all either, and i will certainly say that Most of the women in those days really did put these very troubled women today to Real Total Shame altogether as well. And now i can really see why our family members had it so very easy back then when they met one another since it definitely was a much better time for them. Gee Wiz, this is a very excellent reason why so many men are going MGTOW today.
Sara says
I was in only one relationship when I was 22 he told me he doesn’t love me that he doesn’t want me during our first kiss which wasn’t my fault . I mean everyone’s relationship goes to next level after make out session but mine wasn’t like this. I told him to stop touching me and to go home but he didn’t stop. I felt used and abused . As I come from a religious family I felt guilty for a couple of years. I have flashbacks from the incident. my first impression with men was my worst impression . I never dare approaching men , not if they say they love me. Now I’m a 29 single woman who really wishes to settle down and have kids but unfortunately I’m not ready emotionally or mentally.