The difficult part here is there are oodles of logical explanations as to why he isn’t texting you back. On the flip side, he could be distracted with other gals and just leading you on.
Maybe he has had a family emergency or he broke his phone.
Perhaps he accidentally deleted your number or had to turn off his data and doesn’t have easy access to wifi?
Seriously, there are a million reasons as to why he hasn’t texted you back, some good and some bad.
Top Tips When He Doesn’t Text Back for Days
Tip One: Never Lose Your Cool
You should never flip out if he hasn’t texted you back. The worst thing you can do when he doesn’t text you back is react. That could be exactly what he’s looking for.
Just play it cool and understand that people have lives and sometimes they don’t have their phone attached to their hip. Maybe he’s sleeping or having a hot bath. He could be at an event or visiting his family.
You just don’t know, so please do yourself a favor and don’t react, at least initially.
Tip Two: Cease Firing with the Text Messages
This one totally drives me up the wall. It really is annoying when you haven’t answered a text message and when you finally get to your device, you see there are 10 more to follow. Don’t make this mistake. It comes across as needy and insecure.
Even if this is the case, you don’t ever want him to know this. One text please and then leave it alone, for your own sanity and his.
Tip Three: Move Forward with the Rest of Your Life
Don’t let a non-response to a text message handcuff you. Continue doing what you do in life so the focus isn’t on waiting for that particular ringing noise that signals he’s replied back to your message. That is such a waste of time, not to mention it’s a little creepy.
Keep yourself busy and before you know it, there will probably be a text waiting for you from him. That’s when you put the ball in your court instead of being controlled by his slow reaction time.
Tip Four: Shoot Him a Nice Text
If you’ve given him enough reasonable time to reply and you still haven’t heard from him, only then should you shoot him a gentle text to let him know you are thinking about him. You’ve got to be the judge on this one because it’s true, sometimes text messages get lost. If that’s the case, then great.
On the flip side of this, sending him another message prematurely might scare him and send him the other way running. Use your judgement, but playing it cool as long as you can really is the right thing to do.
Tip Five: Give It One More Shot
Another tactic is to wait a good amount of time and send him another text message acting like you never sent the other one. This one isn’t being totally honest, but it does give you the chance to reach out to him another time and play the dumb card if he calls you on it.
At most, only do this once. You’ll regret it any more than that.
Tip Six: Don’t Gossip About It
Never ever jump the gun and start yapping to your friends about not hearing back from him. This could be the dumbest move ever. It shows you are judgmental, untrustworthy and crazy needy, not to mention addicted to your device.
Gossiping is never good, and if you are complaining to others about your boyfriend issues, that’s the worst of the worst. Just don’t do it, please.
Tip Seven: Make an Effort for a Face-to-Face
Body language makes up 80 percent of communication. It’s so dangerous to rely on text messages to express your true thoughts and feelings. It’s just too easy to be misunderstood and transform an ant hill into a freaking mountain.
Try to reach out to him for a face-to-face, or even go to where he might be. That’s when you will be able to better read his true intentions.
When you aren’t in his presence, there is just too much miscommunication, particularly when you are still trying to figure each other out. Trust me on this one, please.
Tip Eight: Never Make It Public
Here’s another one you just don’t want to do. Social media is both fantastic and totally awful. It’s too easy to reach out and tell the world things you might soon regret. Having a rant on social media, like Facebook, is something you just don’t want to do.
Many people get into social media trouble when they act on emotion. Just close the door to this, please.
What’s done is done. Not to mention the fact he likely has access to it too and will think very little of you if you are complaining to the world about not getting a text message reply.
Steer clear of allowing your emotions to override logic. According to science, the two are physiologically impossible to occur simultaneously.
Tip Nine: Don’t Sit Around Waiting
Sitting around waiting for a guy to message you back is just weak and lame. It means you have nothing better to do than let a guy take full control of your time.
Under no circumstances should you allow yourself to stop everything on behalf of a text message. Move forward with your day, and if he’s going to reply, you will find out eventually.
When you take action to keep busy and not focus or wait on that text reply, you are putting the power into your hand, where it should be.
No man is worth that sort of expectations from you. Believe it and make sure it doesn’t happen. The choice is yours and only yours.
Tip Ten: Maintain Your Dignity
This one is near the top of the list. You don’t ever want to do something you’ll eventually regret when it comes to waiting for a text reply. This means you need to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. This isn’t the time to rant and rave about it or have a secret spa session.
Chill and relax and let the cards fall as they may.
Tip Eleven: Give Him Time
This is a tough one but you’ve got to buckle up and do it. I know you’re anxious, but you need to give him the time he needs to respond. It might take him a day to reply if he’s at work or sleeping off the night shift.
You need to use your judgment and make sure you follow your gut and give him the benefit of the doubt until he proves he deserves otherwise. It’s the right thing to do.
Let’s look at reasons why he hasn’t texted you back:
Reason One: Eating Like a Rabbit
Let’s face it, you’ve got to eat to be healthy, and guys just don’t like it when a girl isn’t up to eating a hearty healthy meal. This doesn’t mean he wants you beefy fat though.
What it does mean is that when a girl is afraid to actually provide adequate nutrition for her body, she isn’t confident in herself and she’s likely got a whole whack of other issues.
When women eat just veggies and not enough, that’s a pretty clear sign they have body image issues and likely an eating disorder to boot. No guy wants to have to deal with that.
They want a healthy girl who is confident and happy in her skin, regardless of her size.
According to the experts at e-Harmony, undernourished gals are not the cream of the crop for men looking for a real relationship.
Reason Two: Ordering Up Expensive
Men work hard for their money and although they don’t mind you having what you want, when you continuously order the most expensive meals on the menu, you are signaling to them you are high maintenance.
For most men, high maintenance is an emergency signal to run fast the other way.
Be reasonable and indulge on occasion, but you don’t have to have the best every time. That’s a high priority reason for a man not to text you back.
Reason Three: Likes Playing Hard to Get
Guys can play the game too. Women like to play hard to get on occasion and so do the boys. A man might not text you back because he wants to evaluate how interested you really are in him. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but you need to proceed with caution.
Some guys are just players, period. Others want to know you are somewhat vested in your relationship. Only you can be the judge on this one.
Reason Four: Overkill with the Compliments
This is just phony and fake. Sure, a man loves to hear a compliment, but if you flood him with compliments, you are going to give him the impression you aren’t sincere and that’s a total turnoff.
Take it easy with the compliments and make sure they are totally real. Do this and he will text you back.
Reason Five: Too Open
Many men are gun-shy of girls who open the door and let it all out. That’s just totally drama and overwhelming and they don’t need it.
Sharing a few personal bits of information is one thing but letting him into all our baggage and drama is only going to push him out the door. That just scares men in general.
Keep it short and sweet with just enough personal information to let him know you are interested.
If you aren’t following protocol here, you’ve given him a valid reason not to text you back.
Reason Six: Doesn’t Want to Be a Stalker
Men are sensitive of being categorized or labeled as a stalker. Particularly if they are doing too much with the texting. This is one of those rare valid reasons as to why a man isn’t replying to your text.
Keep this in mind before you decide to freak out over him not texting you back fast enough.
There’s a fine line between texting too much and just enough. Not to mention there’s a true learning curve involved that’s always changing.
He might well be avoiding texting you back simply because he doesn’t want you to think he’s a creepy stalker.
Reason Seven: Boredom Has Arrived
It doesn’t take long for guys to get bored in a relationship. This means they have lost the spark and likely found it in another girl, temporarily I might add. There’s no rhyme or reason for this but it does happen.
Perhaps you are a boring person or you just don’t match. It really doesn’t matter because when a guy is bored with you, that’s the perfect reason for him not to text you back.
Reason Eight: Lost Interest in You
This one happens all too often. There’s a spark and excitement at the beginning of your relationship, but then it suddenly fizzles out. Relationships are hard work, and if you aren’t both willing to put the time and effort into keeping the fire burning, it will die.
When a man loses interest in a woman, that’s another clear-cut reason as to why he isn’t texting her back.
Reason Nine: You Are Too Good to Be True
This one sounds a little weird but if the man after you has little self-esteem, he might well think you are too good to be true. If this is the case, he might not text you back for fear of rejection.
Kinda seems silly but it’s all so true.
Reason Ten: No Reason (Just Ask)
Experts report if you are concerned as to why your guy isn’t texting you back, you just need to ask him straight up. Most girls don’t have the balls to do this, but it really is the right way to do it. Efficient and quick will get you the answers you need.
That’s just how the dating and texting world rolls.
Up next are a few text messages guys never want to see!
Never send: “Heyyy.”
The point here is that extra letters are really annoying and guys really don’t like it when you are adding extra letters to all your words. It goes along quite nicely with the fact that proper grammar is always the best route when you are communicating with your fingers.
Instead, just send this: “How are you doing?”
The extra letter thing is more of a girl thing. Besides, using extra letters makes you sound like you are still in grade school. Keep your messages grammatically correct and you are on the right track!
Never send: “What are you up to?” “Wanna hook up?” “Where are you?”
It’s normal sometimes to get a little impatient when you haven’t gotten a text back from a guy. It’s natural to want to shoot him another text. However, this just isn’t cool. More often than not this happens when you’re out partying and it’s something you will regret in the morning.
Sending continuous texts without a reply can be overwhelming and a little crazy-creepy.
Instead, just stop texting until you get a reply.
Sit back and relax because if he is interested in you for real, you will eventually get a message back. If not, you need to move on. Appearing needy is never sexy.
Never send: “LMAO.”
Guys don’t want you to text message “LMAO” or “LOL” texts during your conversations because it makes him confused as to what to text back. This message is just like those awkward pauses on a date.
Instead, just send this: “You make me laugh!”
Keeping the conversation flowing smoothly is priority one. Text messaging, in general, can be really confusing because it’s completely subjective. It’s never a clear way to communicate so make sure you choose your words clearly and wisely so there’s little room for misinterpretation.
That spells disaster more often than not. Men would rather have a straightforward response any day of the week. They want black and white, not grey.
Never send: “KK.”
According to the experts, sending “KK” or other one-word answers is the worst because it makes you look like you are bored and really don’t care. It’s tough to read whether a girl is happy or pissed when she’s just shooting off one-word replies.
That just leaves so much to the imagination, and not in a good way.
Instead, you could just send: “Very cool, sounds great!”
This shows him the best you can via text that you are interested in what he has to say and you are encouraging him to tell you more. Just make sure you put a little effort in your answers and he will appreciate it.
Never send: “K, I guess.”
Emotion isn’t really relevant in texting unless you are using emoticons, which is another thing most guys aren’t fond of. By saying “K, I guess,” you are likely not giving him the vibe you want. Bottom line is guys don’t like it when girls aren’t specific in their texting.
Instead, you could just shoot him the text “Yes” or “No.”
Wishy-washy isn’t cool. If he asks you out for drinks, you just have to give him the “Yes” or “Sure that would be great” reply. Guys understand “Yes” and “No.” Let’s leave it at that!
Never send: Too many words.
This is something you have to be very careful of. If you get into the habit of sending wordy texts, you are going to drive him batty. Short and sweet wins here! Guys get bored fast, and when you write books in your replies, he’s likely going to skim through it or just not bother replying.
Keep your replies short and you will show him you aren’t that girl who can’t stop talking.
You can never be too perfect with your texting.
Here are a few pointers to help you develop great text etiquette, which is only going to help increase the chances he’s going to text you back:
Pointer One: Understand Your Audience
It’s very important to think about how you are presenting yourself to your audience when you are texting. You need to try and put yourself into the type of guy you are texting and choose the words he’s most likely to understand straight up.
Pointer Two: Try to Communicate with Clarity
You never want the guy you are messaging to be confused with what you are trying to say. All that’s going to do is frustrate him and cause unnecessary conflict. Be sure you re-read your messages before you hit send, and make sure they are always loud and clear.
Pointer Three: Quick Reply
Guys expect you to respond quickly when they send you a text. Of course, this isn’t always possible, but for the most part, we tend to have our devices attached at the hip. When you don’t reply quickly, it sends him the message you really don’t care, and that’s never a good thing.
Pointer Four: Practice Patience
It’s very important you don’t take over and start dominating the conversation. Let him get his text messages in. Try and find a balanced level of communication if you want to boost the chances of the conversation continuing.
Pointer Five: Understand When to Cease Fire
Knowing when to end a conversation is very important because eventually, you need to stop and you always want it to end on a positive note.
Try and predict or read when he is ready to stop texting and take action to end the messages.
Final Words
When he doesn’t text you back for days, it’s never a good sign. What you need to remember is that although this might put a hole in your heart, there is still the outside chance he has a very good reason.
If there’s one point you should practice out of all these pointers and tips, it’s to make sure you keep on going. No man is worth it if he can’t respect you enough to take two seconds to shoot you a text, even if it’s not what you want to hear. That’s got coward written all over it!
Hope this helps you handle your texting more effectively with the boys.
