Even though the first and second date are the most talked about, the third date is just as important in its own special way.
There used to be an old myth that if things were going to go wrong in a relationship, it would be on the number 3: third date, 3-month anniversary, or 3-year anniversary. While that is really just a myth, the third date really is where it can all fall apart if you are not careful.
The third date is kind of in between awkwardness and relationship. You are not new to each other, but you are not in a territory yet where you can be totally relaxed with each other.
So, sticking with the 3 theme – following are a few things to keep in mind to make it all work out.
Note: If you haven’t had the first date yet, then you will also want to read How To Win A Woman Over In 5 Dates.
1. Don’t Express Sexist Or Hateful Views – Even If It’s A Joke
I was reading an article titled, Why I’ll Never Date A Man Who Isn’t A Feminist Again, and her points made it really clear that many men tell her that they have an inner feminist, but show their true colors early on while they are dating.
You can solve this by being honest about your opinions and beliefs right from the beginning, but you should also be very careful about how you talk – especially on your earlier dates, such as your third date.
A joke that made your friends laugh may not have the same impact on a woman you are just getting to know. She doesn’t know that you are joking. In fact, she doesn’t know you well enough to really have a good feel for your beliefs and values.
A sexist or hateful comment about anything, in anger or as a joke, can make your third date your last date. You have to pay attention to your words and what you say.
By the way, emotional intelligence can go a long way for this.
2. Don’t Act Like You Are In A Relationship
The third date should be about creating more of a connection between the two of you, but some people think that if they have made date number 3, they are already in a relationship and can act a little too touchy or be a little too personal.
You also can’t act possessive over a woman. She has not become your girlfriend yet, and you have no say over who she talks to, flirts with, or anything else. Just as she has no say over you. If you don’t like it, you can leave, but you can’t demand or try to control anything.
Dating is a phase of getting to know each to decide if you want to be in a relationship. Remember that as you move forward with your fourth and fifth date.
- You are not committed.
- You do not owe each other anything yet.
- You do not have to go on another date if you don’t want to!
3. Don’t Focus On The Physical
On some blogs for men, I’ve read advice about getting laid on the first date. I’ve also seen articles about how women will think you are a ‘pussy’ if you don’t try to sleep with them.
But the truth is that there are a lot of women who don’t want to get physical too fast, especially if they are looking for something a little more long term.
Even crazier? They will respect you more if you don’t focus on the physical aspect of dating and, instead, just enjoy getting to know them more.
Yes, you have to create a physical attraction if you want to end up in a relationship and out of the friend zone, but you don’t want to be too eager for the physical aspect.
If you try to get physically closer, and she is obviously uncomfortable with it, please don’t follow the advice of guys who tell you to push through it.
Respect her boundaries.
Let her know that you are totally physically attracted to her in other ways.
And wait for the moment that she opens up to the idea of being more physical.