How to talk dirty to a guy is a skill that will serve you well. When you know how to turn up the heat with naughty talk, the attention will be front and center on you. And you do have to be careful that you don’t get too vulgar or cross the line too soon. Both of which may take a little bit of trial and error.
It’s also important to recognize the telltale signs your guy loves your dirty talk. This will help you add fuel to the fire if need be.
Sexy is good in a relationship and if you can add some sizzle with some dirty talk why not?
There’s a right way to talk dirty so you don’t come off as a sleaze. And if that’s your goal then you’re reading the wrong article. Talking dirty doesn’t have to be difficult. There’s a road map you can follow that alleviates nerves and that unnecessary awkward feeling usually associated with dirty talk, at least initially.
One ginormous mistake people make is thinking they’ve got to be graphic and vulgar in order to get that sexy turn-on feeling for a guy.
That’s absolutely hogwash.
This could be because so many people dive into porn when they think of dirty.
Here are a few pointers to get you started turning your guy on by learning how to talk dirty. Hope you’re ready to blush.
How To Talk Dirty To A Guy
Pointer One – Start Slow And Easy
In order to build up your confidence, you need to start slow with something that’s not going to set you up to fail. Confidence is everything when it comes to turning a guy on with dirty talk. Step one might be to make a little more noise in bed than you normally would. Moan a little longer or groan a little louder. This is ultra-effective when your lips are glued to his ear, just to make sure he hears you loud and clear.
Pretty simple stuff to get you warmed up. Show him you are turned on first and the rest will follow.
Pointer Two – Use Your Words
Your next hot move is to actually use specific words or phrases you know are going to turn him on. Don’t try and get too complicated, according to the relationship experts at . Begin with one or to word phrases and work your way up.
A few simple one or two word starts are…
Make sure you use your sexy voice when you use these phrases and whispering them into his ear works even better. By now, your confidence should be escalating and you can switch back and forth between the sounds and small phrases.
Practice this enough to feel good about it and then you should shift nicely into longer phrases that are more descriptive. Understanding that direction and openness is truly a huge turn on.
Try these phrases to turn up the heat:
*I love how you feel deep inside me.
*I just want to be yours.
*You feel so good.
*I love making you happy.
The next level is just making more of a sentence out of it, like:
*I wish we could make love all night long.
*I love learning how to drive you nuts.
*When you take control, I get nice and wet.
*I’m going to pin you down and kiss every inch of your hot body.
Word by word, you will build yourself up with your dirty talk to drive him crazy with success. Pay attention to your tone, mannerism, and word choice. Whispering in his ear makes it ultra seductive.
Pointer Three – Practice
Depending on how comfortable you are to begin with, you might want to practice in a mirror before you even get in front of a guy. This may seem silly but it really will help you to get your tone and word choice right before the main event. They say practice makes perfect and it’s worth a shot.
These are a few tips to get you started from the outside looking in. Now let’s take a gander learning to talk dirty whether it’s sexting, foreplay, or phone sex. Time for you to learn what to say and when.
Crack The Ice
Think of dirty talk as an intimate experience. A way of strengthening your connection with your boyfriend. A fun and integral part of bonding. If you are shy, make sure to bring up the topic with your guy and get his thoughts. Chances are he’s going to be totally thrilled you’re ready to push the boundaries of your comfort zone, sexually speaking, and see what comes “up.”
Be sure you understand any lines he might have. Just ask him so you don’t cross any that might make you both feel a little awkward.
Ask and you shall receive, should be your mentality.
Experts from Men’s Fitness talk about the importance of setting boundaries. We live in the digital age where dirty talk is almost too easy. But if you aren’t careful, it can turn trashy fast and put you in a nasty situation.
It’s all about establishing trust. If you don’t trust the guy you’re with, you have no business talking dirty.
Information is knowledge and knowledge is power.
Ask him what he’d like to hear. If he is shy about it then you can coax him a little by suggesting things you believe he’d like to hear. All he’s got to do is say yes or no. And make sure you reassure him there are no expectations and it’s really no big deal.
There is no perfect guide for this stuff and just like the act of making love, you’re going to clumsy before you’re smooth. Just establish that you’re on the same page before you make your move because there’s tones of heated fun to have.
What you want to do is fill your body with all sorts of naughty talk and images that are going to fuel your fire to talk dirty to your guy and make sure he’s left wanting more. Get one of your girlfriends to help you and work on different phrases and vocabulary that either she uses on her guy or that you both think will work to push his buttons.
You could also download a couple of erotic-romance books to get yourself all heated up. A great tool to get you inspired to deliver the dirty talk at the perfect level for your guy. Don’t be afraid either to push yourself over the line a little, because you are just practicing. That will make it a heck of a lot easier to deliver when you’ve got yearning ears listening.
Grab a dirty magazine and lose yourself. Not that you have to dive in to that degree when you’re talking with your guy. All you’re looking to do is put the thoughts in your head and from there, you can translate them into a comfortable delivery with time, patience, open communication, and of course a ton of practice.
Ease Into The Graphic
Relationship experts agree slow and steady wins the race here. Even if your guy is ripe and ready to get down and dirty with the talk, you shouldn’t take this as your cue to go full steam ahead.
Don’t dive in with the “c” and “f” word talk. Start with tamer words and make sure you’ve got the comfort and flow before you really hit it hard. It’s better to pull back and make him beg a little so you don’t risk hitting it all wrong and turning him off permanently.
You don’t wake up one day and decide to run a 5 km race without any training, if you want to succeed anyway. So don’t try doing it with your dirty talk, because you’re setting yourself up to bomb.
Make Him Guess And Keep Him Guessing
Guessing is good when it comes to kicking it up a few notches with the dirty talk. It doesn’t matter whether you’re just caught up in the moment or just lost your creativity, saying the same thing over and over again will get boring fast. Think outside the box and make sure you do your best to make your dirty talk a “we” moment.
Talk in the now to make sure you don’t sound like a broken record that can easily get scratched, or worse yet smashed!
Chill If It Doesn’t Work
If something doesn’t work, all you’ve gotta do is try something else. The worst move you can make if a certain word or phrase just doesn’t cut it, is to freeze, get embarrassed, or throw in the towel.
This is all experimental and unless you are a magic wand yourself, it’s going to take time and patience and a heck of a lot of explorative investigation. Communication is key and the troubleshooting will never end.
Worst case scenario, the dirty talk just isn’t your thing for whatever reason. So what? You tried, and it’s guaranteed that you and your guy are way closer because of it.
Without risk, there is no reward. Never forget it.
When it comes to dirty talk in bed or any other place for that matter, there are certain things you need to avoid, and other things you need to do, in order to capture the undivided attention of your guy and make him lusting for you.
Do’s And Don’ts Of Dirty Talking
*Don’t use defamatory words. There’s always going to be those words that just about offend everyone. So make sure you don’t use them, particularly when you’re a virgin with this dirty talk. “Cunt, whore, and slut” are words you want to stay away from. Don’t push yourself too soon over the fine line of dirty talk and trash talk.
Not many women want to be called those things so you shouldn’t encourage a guy to use them through your dirty talk.
Do Tell Him That He’s Strong And Sexy
What guy doesn’t want to hear that he’s strong and hot? So in the middle of love making, tell him that. That’ll only make him want you more and give you the courage to perhaps turn your dirty talk up a notch or two.
Don’t Tell Him To Zip It
The last thing you want to do is tell your guy to be quiet if he happens to ask you if anything is wrong when you’re trying to climax. That’s just plain rude and a totally turnoff. If you are looking to disconnect with your guy then by all means tell him to be quiet.
Do Make Sure You Tell Him You Want To Make Love All Night Long
Nothing feels much better than hearing you want to keep on going all night long. Your guy will feel like a King! This communicates to him you are satisfied and can’t get enough of him and that’s just awesome.
Don’t Ever Dismiss Using Protection
Unless you are looking to make a baby, a condom should be clearly stated up front with no miscommunication. Riding bareback is just silly, particularly if you really don’t know the guy. Think of the message that would give to the guy if you didn’t care whether you used protection or not.
Do Take The Dominant Role
Sure men like to be the manly provider in life. But when it comes to intercourse, there really isn’t more of a turn on than a girl that tells the guy she wants to take control. That’s super attractive. Women tend to be submissive in nature when it comes to fun in the bedroom but that doesn’t have to always be case.
Take the lead and you are going to make him beg for more.
Don’t Be Degrading
The last thing you want to do in bed is make your man feel any less of a man. Be sure you don’t pound on his sensitive spots verbally if you can help it. Perhaps he is extremely cautious of his “size” and not getting enough depth to satisfy you. So try and make sure you don’t say anything when you are all riled up that’s going to make him think about his insecurities.
Remind him if he’d like you to do something a little differently, just to tell you. A little open communication goes a long way.
Make Sure You Scream His Name
Well, maybe not scream his name but make sure you say it for sure. That’s alluring and a total turn on. Reminds him that he is the one on your mind and not your last boyfriend. Remove the thought of any other man being in your head by just repeating his name whenever you can.
Promise, you’ll be glad you did.
Don’t You Dare Get Technical On Him
There are certain words you might not want to use because they’ll turn the heat right off. Penis and vagina for instance are those technical words that just have nothing sensual about them. Save them for when you visit the doctor’s office or if you are teaching a young person about the birds and bees. Just trust me on that one.
Do Tell Him How Great He Tastes And Feels
Try not to be too general here. You can tell a guy over and over how hot he is but if you don’t make it a little more specific, it gets old fast. Tell him in detail what you like about him. That he feels so good or that you love how sweet he tastes.
The more detail the better because again, this removes any question as to whether or not you’ve been rehearsing or practicing too much with someone else.
Things Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Say But Wants You To Know
No matter how close you are with your boyfriend, there are going to be things he wants you to know but doesn’t want to say. Here are ten to get you started.
Guaranteed, your boyfriend doesn’t like being forced to do things. Your boyfriend wants to call you because he wants to and not because he feels you expect it or that he should. All that does is create negative pressure that will eventually push him away.
Saying goodnight is one of those things.
Of course, he knows you think it’s sweet when he calls or texts you goodnight, but he really doesn’t want to do it every night.
For Certain, He Notices That Extra Weight You’ve Packed On Since You Started Dating
I’m not saying he still isn’t attracted to you but I can guarantee your boyfriend notices those few extra pounds you’ve packed on since you started dating. All your guy wants is for you to be the same as when you started dating.
Do yourself a favor and hit the gym to knock off those extra pounds and make him a very happy man.
Show Some Skin
Women’s Day magazine relationship experts report men are totally visual. They tend to think with their eyes and when you look great all the time, guaranteed he notices. Put a little effort into how you look and don’t be shy about dressing seductively for him. This doesn’t mean slutty, just sexy.
Your boyfriend wants to show you off to the world so you better give him something to show off.
He Wants More Coitus
You can blame it on evolutionary makeup but men are wired to want more sex. Almost every man wants more. They think about it all the time and can never really have too much. Thinking with their little head is an understatement.
The more lovemaking you give him the better. Just keep it creative and alive and you’ll be in his head forever, the big one.
Check out our other article: How To Tell If A Guy Likes You.
He Thinks You Can Tone It Down On The Makeup Etc.
Not big surprise here. Men aren’t very aware of the mascara and eyeliner you use, or the bronzer or glitter you spread across your brow. They go first for the natural pretty. Sure a little makeup is fine but less is more, unless you really need to hide your flaws.
Honestly, he really doesn’t want you to look like a pageant queen so skip it.
Loves Your Family But Less Is More
Your boyfriend may love your family but that doesn’t mean he wants to move in with them. Never forget, he wants to be with you and not your family. Yes he respects and cares about anyone you care about, but remember, they aren’t his.
Find your balance and make sure you tip the scales in his favor.
Wants To Hang With His Buddies
Guys like guy time too. This doesn’t mean he isn’t interested in being with you but you need to make a point of encouraging him and supporting him in spending time with his buddies. He doesn’t want to make you mad with this one so take the lead.
Where’s The Man Cave?
Every guy wants a man cave. He wants an area he can have all to himself when he needs a little guy time; alone, or with guy friends. Understand and accept this and don’t be offended by it or you’re going to run into trouble.
More Adventure Is A Good Thing
Even if your boyfriend is totally happy in the sack with you, he wants more. There can always be more adventure in the bedroom and you need to create it because he isn’t going to tell you. This doesn’t mean you’ve got to go nuts but you do need to pry open your creative mind and let the juices start flowing.
There are times when your boyfriend just likes to stay in. He doesn’t always have to go out. How about making him dinner and curling up with a movie. That could really mean a lot to him.
Learning how to talk dirty to a guy is only the beginning. There are so many factors that are essential in a strong and connective relationship you almost need to treat it as a full time job.
Open your mind and go for it!