You probably have a few rituals in your life. For example, a morning ritual, a work ritual, and an after work ritual all contribute to your overall productivity, happiness and health.
But do you have a pre-date ritual? If not, you need to develop one. Why? Because the right pre-date ritual can help you reduce anxiety, increase self-confidence, make sure that you show off your best self, and contribute to the overall success of your date.
The wrong pre-date ritual, such as drinking too much before your date or growing more anxious by the minute, can contribute to the overall failure of your date.
Ritual: a series of actions or type of behavior regularly and invariably followed by someone.
Pre-Date Ritual: 5 Steps To Success
Following are 5 steps you can follow every time you have a date. Once you do them a few times, they will become your pre-date ritual, and you will find yourself heading into dates with much less anxiety and much more confidence.
Step 1: Prepare
On the day of your date, you should spend some time making sure you’ve got everything you need to make the date run as smoothly as possible.
What do you need on a date?
- Money (cash, debit, and credit so you are prepared for any situation)
- Gum or breath freshener
- ID (Nothing worse than being rejected a drink because you have no ID)
- A full tank of gas
- Condom (better safe than sorry)
- A clean car
Also, while many guys wouldn’t call this ‘being prepared’, I think letting your friends know that you will be busy and not to call you is important. It will help you avoid any interruptions during the date that could be annoying or badly timed.
In addition, if you know where you are going, do some research on the place so that you can confidently get around, order food, order drinks, or find something to impress her. Knowing the places you are going will give you less to worry about on the date and allow you to be more in control.
Lastly, thinking ahead will help you avoid any late night embarrassments. In other words, if you live alone, there is a chance that you may bring your date back to your place, so make sure you clean up your place (focus on the bathroom, bedroom, and kitchen), hide anything that could harm your image with her, and lock down your computer.
Step 2: Put On Your Favorite Music
A few hours before your date, put on some of your favorite music. I’m talking about the type of music that makes you like yourself and other people more.
If you have to, wear headphones and listen to music. The key is to pop in some music that makes you feel like you are going to nail this date.
Music does some positive things for you:
- It distracts you from anxious or nervous thoughts
- It lifts your mood
- It reduces fatigue and gives you energy
- It increases your self-confidence
Make a music list that inspires you to be awesome, and stick with that list during your pre-date ritual.
Step 3: Focus On Grooming
Some people say that appearance shouldn’t matter on a date, but the truth is that your date will be making judgments around what you say, how you act, and how you look.
If you look like you don’t take very good care of yourself, or like you didn’t put any effort into getting ready, then she will form negative judgments that can hurt your chances with her. Even if they are small negative judgments, they can still have a big impact on your future with her.
For instance, if you obviously didn’t shave for the date, then she may wonder if you don’t think she’s worth shaving for. It’s a weird thought. It’s probably not true. But it is something that may cross her mind.
Think of it this way: She doesn’t know what you are thinking, but she knows you would probably shave before an interview where you are trying to impress someone for a job. So, without going over the top, if you want to impress your date, groom yourself like you would for an interview.
If you want to impress your date, groom yourself like you would for an interview. Click to Tweet
That means showering, shaving, ironing shirts, wearing your best clothes, and making sure you smell good.
Step 4: Remind Yourself Of What You Want To Do (Or Not Do) On Your Date
You would prepare mentally for a presentation. You would prepare mentally for a job interview. You would even prepare mentally for a meeting with someone that you hold in high regard. So why wouldn’t you prepare mentally for your date?
There are things that you will want to do and not do on your date, and if you remind yourself of those things before you leave, you will be much more likely to draw on those reminders and have a successful date. You will be more aware of how you want to act and behave.
As a bonus, the more prepared you feel, the more confident you will feel.
Things you want to do on your date:
- Listen as much as you talk
- Keep a positive attitude – avoid being rude or mean
- Avoid talking about ex-girlfriends
- Tell stories about yourself that make you look charming or interesting
- Be chivalrous
- Avoid looking at other women
- Avoid getting too personal with your stories and questions
- Have good manners
- Be confident
- Be decisive
- Stand up for yourself and your beliefs without being arrogant
- Avoid lying (no matter how tempting it is to tell her something you think she wants to hear)
Step 5: Leave Your Expectations At Home
You can visualize the date going perfectly, but there is a good chance that something unexpected will happen. When you go into the date with too high of expectations, any unexpected occurrence will be a major annoyance or letdown and affect the way you interact with your date.
You can also worry about your date, but there is a good chance that everything will work out just fine.
The best expectation you can have is to do your best on the date and be as positive as possible. That expectation will help you make the most out of whatever comes your way and enjoy the date regardless of what does or doesn’t work in your favor.