Do you tend to over-think your first date? So much so that you start to worry about it and feel anxious about it? In other words, does picking up the phone and cancelling your date seem easier than actually going?
The first date can be stressful, if you let it be. But following are some of my top tips to stop worrying about your first date and start looking forward to it – or at the very least, being content with your emotions until the date arrives.
Remember That There Will NOT Be Enough Time To Learn Everything About You
Are you worried that she’s going to find out your secret hobby that turns off most women? Or how about the fact that you love reality shows, and secretly obsess about their lives.
Okay, maybe those two things are not something you are worried about, but here’s the thing – on your first date, you are not going to talk about those things unless you bring them up. There are so many other things to talk about, that you can easily just mention things that show her who you are without letting some of your weirder or harder-to-understand traits come out.
She is not expecting you to give her your life story. She is expecting to hang out with you, learn a little more about you, and enjoy the date. That’s it!
Don’t Stress About The First Kiss
Are you worried that you are going to have to kiss her, or at least make an attempt to kiss her? I’ve talked about when you should kiss a woman for the first time, and I think you should read that article. But if you don’t, just try to remember that your instincts are responsible for the first kiss.
No amount of planning or worry is going to help you land the perfect first kiss, so why plan or worry? Let your instincts take care of that one, and don’t even think about it until you know the moment is right.
Of course, you may want to kiss her, and you may think about her lips and the way the kiss feels, but don’t stress about the perfect moment.
Try visualizing the kiss being enjoyable, and let that be the dominant thought you have about kissing her.
Don’t Worry About The Second Date!
If you are already thinking about whether or not you will get a second date, stop! Focus on looking forward to the first date and leave the planning of the second date until later.
Here’s the thing: Living in the moment will always make you feel less stressed than living in the future. Always! Why? Because the moment doesn’t have any anxiety it. You do, you act, you talk, you think, but you don’t worry. You take action, because that’s all you can do in this moment! So, don’t focus on the second date right now. Focus on this moment and enjoy the process leading up to the first date. Then, on the first date, enjoy the first date!
You WILL Figure Out What To Talk About On The First Date
Don’t worry about having nothing to talk about, and don’t plan what to talk about on your first date, rather let yourself be guided by your surroundings and the conversation at hand to come up with good conversation.
If you over-think what you want to talk about, then you can become mechanical and creepy on the first date. Those are two things you don’t want to be! This will happen because you will find yourself racking your memory about things you planned to talk about, and it likely won’t fit into the situation or atmosphere at hand. Things hardly ever work out as planned.
Go with the flow.
- If something funny happens, strike up a conversation around it.
- If she mentions something she likes, talk about that.
- If all else fails, talk about something funny and positive that has happened in your life recently, and let that guide your conversation.
Don’t stress out about it until you get there.
Lastly, if you are worried about the first date being a complete disaster, stop. You can’t predict what will happen, but there is a chance that she may not be into you. And you may not be into her. That is why you are having a first date – to learn about each other and decide if you are a good fit.
If rejection happens, it is for a good reason. You were not meant to be together! So, don’t worry about whether or not it will all work out, just enjoy getting to know someone new and leave the rest to ‘what will be’.
This May Help Stop Your Worrying!
In the end, there is no point worrying about your first date. Things are going to play out the way they were supposed to play out, and no amount of planning or worry is going to change that. Enjoy the fact that you have a first date coming up, allow yourself to imagine it going well and stress-free, and let your instinct take care of the rest when the time comes.
Note: Learn to remove worry and stay in the present moment with the Mind Calm technique. Seriously, I love this technique, and it is the number one book and method I have found to help remove worry about everything.